dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Randomize
