Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
