I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Randomize
