I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
