why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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