I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
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