so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Randomize
