It's Friday. Sex?
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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