fuck your aforementioned shoe
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
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