it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Randomize
