You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Watching her eat just hurts me
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
