apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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