literally had 100 drinks last night.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Randomize