Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
