he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Randomize
