Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
Randomize
