Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Randomize
