im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Randomize
