The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
