Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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