Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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