What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Randomize
