It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
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