What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
You have to summon your inner elephant
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
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