I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
