It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Randomize
