some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
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