Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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