I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Randomize