I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
