Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
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At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
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