I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
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