I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Randomize
