How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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