K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Randomize
