i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Randomize
