Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
You smell like stripper and shame
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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