I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
