Can i not drive my cunt home
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
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