Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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