i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
