and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
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