i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
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