dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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