OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
