You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize