in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
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