I cockslap morals
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
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