Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
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