Are we in a gay sports bar?
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
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