so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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