We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
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