Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
