doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Randomize
