I want to walk on stilts...naked
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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