my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
