they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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