when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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