I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
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