whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Randomize
