Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
