I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
