my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Randomize
